The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry official site North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Numerous gay guys wish to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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