The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to official website be excellent?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Homepage Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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